Dealing with your ex wife dating
You each know each other's hot buttons and continue to push those buttons resulting in upsets. You need to look inside to determine where you are still tied to him.
Acceptance comes from acknowledging that your marriage is over with no hope or wish for it to continue. But before you can do this work, you must put in place new rules that will lay the groundwork for a completely new relationship with your former husband.
Obviously the less you have to do with your ex after divorce the better.
That is not to say that you cannot have a relationship with your ex, but it has to be radically different from the one you had while married.
He knows the code to my house lock and oftentimes enters on his own. This is my house and I should have laid down the ground rules that said he is to knock on the front door just like any other house guest.
He has the tendency to walk into the house, open the refrigerator door and grabs something to eat, which is exactly what he always did when we were married. House guests do not help themselves to the food in my refrigerator.
My ex and I had a fairly amicable divorce and we have managed to move out of each other's lives albeit for the children. In reading the book, Leaving Him Behind by Sandra Kahn, she mentioned something that set off a light for me.
This is him living by the old rules as if this were his home, which it is not.
These ground rules are meant to protect you and prevent any kind of situations that could lead to an upset.
Let your ex know this new ground rule: you will speak to one another in respectful ways and will not tolerate anything else or the conversation is over.3) Ensure that your home is just that: your home. Don't talk about anything that opens the door to more connections or emotional entanglements.
Keep it business-like.5) Do not involve the children in any communication between the two of you. Keep them protected.6) Stay out of each other's lives.
Keep all communication limited to only what is necessary for the kids or legal matters.2) Speak to one another in respectful ways.