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Experts stress that while pointers on approachability may, on the surface, seem like total no-brainers, all are elements of socializing that people struggle to both recognize in themselves and correct.Gian Gonzaga, senior director of research and development at e Harmony labs and author of the new book , is emphatic that most subconscious actions are deeply rooted in relationship insecurities.Rookie is an online magazine and book series for teenagers.Each month, a different editorial theme drives the writing, photography, and artwork that we publish.And cues commonly discussed in dating scenarios—the arm cross, extreme appearance (from dark lipliner to unisex clothing) or oversharing personal information—can be as harmful to your life professionally as it can personally.
“Crossing your legs in someone’s direction is very welcoming.” Another oft-overlooked signal of approachability on first impact is the smile.
Top on the list of body language mistakes that women make is crossing her arms over her chest. Kouffman Sherman adds that the arm cross is a self-protecting behavior that reveals a defensive side to your personality.
You know the pose: a woman holds her drink or a pen in one hand, her other arm is crossed over her waist, tucked under her elbow. Like Gonzaga’s “avoidant,” crossed arms are a dead give-away that you’re putting a barrier between yourself and the world. When standing, keep your arms by your side, never wrapped around your mid-section.
Women often complain that they put themselves out there regularly but are rarely approached by men, whether in a social or professional setting. Whatever it takes to put your best foot forward.” In Photos: The Dating Rules Of Patti Stanger Social Behavior “Don't go out in large groups,” cautions Casey, warning against one of the most common pitfalls of women—traveling in packs.
“You practically have to have an Open For Business sign on your head,” says Casey. “Five or more women is considered a gaggle -- no man wants to walk into a chat room.” Falzone agrees that large groups of women can be intimidating to a man, who might feel he’s breaking up an otherwise good time.
Also, we’ve both been called “intimidating” by our peers, teachers, and parents, and all of them meant it as a compliment. A lot of girls we know have been called intimidating, so we decided to talk to each other about what this phenomenon actually means.